“I felt angry, anxious, worried. I didn’t want to miss out.”

written by Hira @Daddiesapp.com

8 FEB 2021

It was the night before my induction. Ready for bed, Movie ready, time to relax- or so we thought…

Everything happened so quickly. Induction day arrived, but baby had other plans as my contractions naturally started 8 hours earlier. My husband grabbed the hospital bag and off we went to the hospital.

As it was Covid-19, my husband was unable to attend scans and appointments which is a story I will save for another day. Nevertheless, we had hope that he would be able to wait with me at the assessment unit.

On arrival, we reached the assessment unit and what happened next was plainly inhumane. My husband opened the door for me to let me in first and once I made it safely inside, he followed. Immediately, without even taking a breath, the nurse told him to leave. The way she spoke to him, I cannot put into words. Followed by her insults, she slammed the door on his arm, hurting him. He couldn’t even give me my hospital bag. I was in agony, wanting my husband to be with him, but this was not going to happen. I had no time to speak up or say anything as it all happened so quickly. But how did he feel?

A first time parent, a first time dad and all he wanted was to be with me and our baby. He wanted to be involved in the process, to ask questions. Surely this was not a lot to ask?

I chose to go home after attending the assessment unit (I did return 4 hours later to give birth) and as I made my way downstairs, I saw my husband nervously walking up and down the hospital corridor behind some security doors.

He rang the intercom so that they could open the doors for him to help me back to the car, but he was ignored. The same lady (the door slammer) answered and once again, she was rude. The following phrases were used: “Who are you?” “Your wife is not here”, “No I am not opening the door for you” and then silence.

How is this acceptable?

“I felt helpless”

Pregnancy and labour is an experience for the family. It is a bond between mother and baby but also father and baby too. In my opinion, the experience that my husband was faced with is what many men go through at the birth of their babies.

All fathers deserve respect! Let’s unite to make a difference. Share your story…have you experienced something similar or know someone who has?